"Just finished the Escort to the Beloved chapter. I have cried for the first time since December 8, 2000—the night of the car accident that nearly took my life. I didn't cry then. I think I became an observer of my life. I can't begin to thank you for writing this book.”

  Vision Arrow provides and leads excursions and vision quests into the wilderness.
Vision Arrow provides and leads excursions and vision quests into the wilderness. Vision Arrow provides and leads excursions and vision quests into the wilderness. Vision Arrow provides and leads excursions and vision quests into the wilderness. Vision Arrow provides and leads excursions and vision quests into the wilderness.
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Trebbe Johnson's Newsletter
December 2007
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in this issue
When Light Meets Dark
Unexpected Blessings
Two Lovers, Six Love Stories
Trebbe picYou are receiving this newsletter on the day of the winter solstice, the moment in the Earth's spin when, paradoxically, the days begin to get longer and winter officially begins. This issue contains two stories with reflections on the relationship between light and darkness from personal and global, physical and metaphysical points of view.

To those who are receiving this newsletter for the first time... welcome! Here you'll find news of upcoming Vision Arrow events, reflections, profiles of extraordinary people, and stories of transformation that occur when we accept, in small, bold, startling ways the invitations that the world is always sending us.
 

WHEN LIGHT MEETS DARK
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During one of the bleakest times in my life, I received a dose of light in a way that changed my perception forever. It was 1975, and my mother was dying of cancer. During weekends I stayed with her in Connecticut, and on Sunday I'd take the train back to New York City, where I was working as a freelance researcher.

One Sunday, as the train stopped at one of the stations along Long Island Sound, I looked up from my despair to see the waves of the sound rolling in to shore. In the sunlight, they glittered silver, and for the few minutes that the train was stopped, I watched those waves rush in, wash out, rush in, wash out. Suddenly, a great shaft of joy pierced me to the core, for I knew that they would continue their rhythm no matter what sorrow or ecstasy might catch my humanness up in its turbulence. And I knew, as we sometimes know truths that reside much deeper than any explanation of the phenomenon that gives rise to them can express, that it is in times of the greatest sorrow and despair that we can give and receive the greatest beauty.

As the Sufis say, when the heart is broken, there is more room for God to enter.

During this time of the winter solstice, light and dark shift their balance, offering us an invitation to explore how these two forces operate in subtle and deliberate, personal and cosmic ways. As Al Gore said when he accepted the Nobel Prize last week, "The future is knocking at our door right now. Make no mistake, the next generation will ask us one of two questions. Either they will ask: 'What were you thinking; why didn't you act?' Or they will ask instead: 'How did you find the moral courage to rise and successfully resolve a crisis that so many said was impossible to solve?'"

A friend and colleague of mine, Kurt Hoelting, has long been pondering questions like Gore's. Starting on the winter solstice, this meditation teacher and leader of sea kayaking retreats in Alaska will begin a year-long pilgrimage into the heart of his own homeland in Puget Sound. Traveling only by foot, bicycle, and kayak, he will learn to live, work, and explore in an entirely new way. (Click on the link above to read Kurt's blog about his adventure.)

The gift of the waves' insistence on their endless, silver rhythm has stayed with me for thirty-two years and given me a path through the hard times. May you give and receive moments of extraordinary light and beauty in your times of darkness.

 

UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS
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When I was young, I thought life was worth living only if you were healthy, fit, and mentally alert. I wholeheartedly subscribed to the sentiment A. E. Housman expresses in his poem, "To an Athlete Dying Young":


Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not stay,



Better to die young and be remembered for your promise, I believed, than to decline into infirmity and helplessness, and therefore to die with indignity.

Recently, I visited two dear friends, who showed me how wrong that attitude is.

A few years ago, Jim Fraser, a warm-hearted, witty financial manager who loved playing ice hockey, telling jokes, and creating small works of visionary art, began to have trouble with coordination and balance. His condition was eventually diagnosed as Atypical Parkinsonian Syndrome. Stress induced by the selling of his business hastened this degenerative neurological disease, and by August 2004, he was confined to his bed and wheelchair.

When I went to Vermont to see Jim and his wife Vicki, I prepared myself to witness a playful, intelligent life ground down to something tragic and unrecognizable. To my surprise, I discovered that there was nothing at all to pity. In fact, as soon as Jim's caretaker wheeled him out of his bedroom, I saw my friend's distinctive inner being radiating from his eyes. This is hard to describe. Even though he cannot speak, cannot move on his own, and must receive nourishment through a feeding tube, and though Vicki and his caretakers are not certain how much he understands, the expression in Jim's eyes is less vacancy than a kind of deeply in-tuned expectancy.

According to Vicki, Jim is actually contributing actively to his care. An elegant, formidable woman, a performance artist and a person who has an innate sense of beauty and ceremony, Vicki Fraser goes so far as to say that she views Jim's illness as a blessing. "I feel living with Jim's illness has helped me to value living more in the present. It has taught me the importance of support. I have received the support of many, many people in caring for Jim, and my sense of gratitude is constant and abiding. I have also learned that the most important support comes from the person who is ill. Jim supports me immensely. If he did not, I would not be able to take care of him at home. I feel Jim's support throughout every day. Illness can be seen as frustrating and debilitating, but there is a much greater opportunity in finding acceptance and offering support to those who care for you."

From an early age and throughout much of his life, Jim Fraser suffered several major heartbreaks. It seems that now his soul has made a compact with his body and his world to receive comfort and care. For Vicki, this time is yet another opportunity to create beauty and perceive meaning. Together they are living fully.

 

TWO LOVERS, SIX LOVE STORIES
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In every romantic relationship, at least six entwined love stories are constantly twisting and tangling and braiding around one another.

One is the love story each of us has about the two of us together.

The second is the love story we each have with the inner Beloved, that constant (yet not always constantly tended) inner drive that compels us to pursue what fascinates and allures us and that fulfills us, even as we bring meaning and dimension to it.

The third is the love story our partner pursues with his or her own inner Beloved and that always mystifies us somewhat, no matter how supportive and understanding we try to be.

Join my husband Andy Gardner and me on February 8-10 in Litchfield, Connecticut to explore and deepen your own love stories with your human lover, your inner Beloved, and your partner's Beloved. We're excited to present our second annual retreat, LOVER AND BELOVED, at a beautiful, historic country home. $1,125 per couple including lodging and six gourmet meals.

  
Contact Information
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phone: 570/727-4272
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