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"Just
finished the Escort to the Beloved chapter. I have cried for the first
time since December 8, 2000—the night of the car accident
that nearly
took my life. I didn't cry then. I think I became an observer of my
life. I can't begin to thank you for writing this book.”
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Trebbe Johnson's Newsletter
December 2007
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 You
are receiving this newsletter on the day of
the winter solstice, the moment in the
Earth's spin when, paradoxically, the days
begin to get longer and winter officially
begins. This issue contains two stories with
reflections on the relationship between
light and darkness from personal and global,
physical and metaphysical points of view.
To those who are receiving this newsletter
for the first time... welcome! Here you'll
find news of upcoming Vision Arrow events,
reflections, profiles of extraordinary
people, and stories of transformation that
occur when we accept, in small, bold,
startling ways the invitations that the
world is always sending us. |
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WHEN LIGHT
MEETS DARK
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 During
one of the bleakest times in my life, I
received a dose of light in a way that
changed my perception forever. It was 1975,
and my mother was dying of cancer. During
weekends I stayed with her in Connecticut,
and on Sunday I'd take the train back to New
York City, where I was working as a
freelance researcher.
One Sunday, as the train stopped at one of
the stations along Long Island Sound, I
looked up from my despair to see the waves
of the sound rolling in to shore. In the
sunlight, they glittered silver, and for the
few minutes that the train was stopped, I
watched those waves rush in, wash out, rush
in, wash out. Suddenly, a great shaft of joy
pierced me to the core, for I knew that they
would continue their rhythm no matter what
sorrow or ecstasy might catch my humanness
up in its turbulence. And I knew, as we
sometimes know truths that reside much
deeper than any explanation of the
phenomenon that gives rise to them can
express, that it is in times of the greatest
sorrow and despair that we can give and
receive the greatest beauty.
As the Sufis say, when the heart is broken,
there is more room for God to enter.
During this time of the winter solstice,
light and dark shift their balance, offering
us an invitation to explore how these two
forces operate in subtle and deliberate,
personal and cosmic ways. As
Al Gore said when he accepted the Nobel
Prize last week, "The future is knocking at
our door right now. Make no mistake, the
next generation will ask us one of two
questions. Either they will ask: 'What were
you thinking; why didn't you act?' Or they
will ask instead: 'How did you find the
moral courage to rise and successfully
resolve a crisis that so many said was
impossible to solve?'"
A friend and colleague of mine,
Kurt Hoelting, has long been pondering
questions like Gore's. Starting on the
winter solstice, this meditation teacher and
leader of sea kayaking retreats in Alaska
will begin a year-long pilgrimage into the
heart of his own homeland in Puget Sound.
Traveling only by foot, bicycle, and kayak,
he will learn to live, work, and explore in
an entirely new way. (Click on the link
above to read Kurt's blog about his
adventure.)
The gift of the waves' insistence on their
endless, silver rhythm has stayed with me
for thirty-two years and given me a path
through the hard times. May you give and
receive moments of extraordinary light and
beauty in your times of darkness. |
UNEXPECTED BLESSINGS
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 When
I was young, I thought life was
worth living only if you were
healthy, fit, and mentally alert. I
wholeheartedly subscribed to the
sentiment A. E. Housman expresses in
his poem, "To an Athlete Dying
Young":
Smart lad, to slip betimes away
From fields where glory does not
stay,
Better to die young and be
remembered for your promise, I
believed, than to decline into
infirmity and helplessness, and
therefore to die with indignity.
Recently, I visited two dear
friends, who showed me how wrong
that attitude is.
A few years ago, Jim Fraser, a
warm-hearted, witty financial
manager who loved playing ice
hockey, telling jokes, and creating
small works of visionary art, began
to have trouble with coordination
and balance. His condition was
eventually diagnosed as Atypical
Parkinsonian Syndrome. Stress
induced by the selling of his
business hastened this degenerative
neurological disease, and by August
2004, he was confined to his bed and
wheelchair.
When I went to Vermont to see Jim
and his wife Vicki, I prepared
myself to witness a playful,
intelligent life ground down to
something tragic and unrecognizable.
To my surprise, I discovered that
there was nothing at all to pity. In
fact, as soon as Jim's caretaker
wheeled him out of his bedroom, I
saw my friend's distinctive inner
being radiating from his eyes. This
is hard to describe. Even though he
cannot speak, cannot move on his
own, and must receive nourishment
through a feeding tube, and though
Vicki and his caretakers are not
certain how much he understands, the
expression in Jim's eyes is less
vacancy than a kind of deeply
in-tuned expectancy.
According to Vicki, Jim is actually
contributing actively to his care.
An elegant, formidable woman, a
performance artist and a person who
has an innate sense of beauty and
ceremony, Vicki Fraser goes so far
as to say that she views Jim's
illness as a blessing. "I feel
living with Jim's illness has helped
me to value living more in the
present. It has taught me the
importance of support. I have
received the support of many, many
people in caring for Jim, and my
sense of gratitude is constant and
abiding. I have also learned that
the most important support comes
from the person who is ill. Jim
supports me immensely. If he did
not, I would not be able to take
care of him at home. I feel Jim's
support throughout every day.
Illness can be seen as frustrating
and debilitating, but there is a
much greater opportunity in finding
acceptance and offering support to
those who care for you."
From an early age and throughout
much of his life, Jim Fraser
suffered several major heartbreaks.
It seems that now his soul has made
a compact with his body and his
world to receive comfort and care.
For Vicki, this time is yet another
opportunity to create beauty and
perceive meaning. Together they are
living fully.
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TWO LOVERS, SIX LOVE STORIES
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 In
every romantic relationship, at
least six entwined love stories are
constantly twisting and tangling and
braiding around one another.
One is the love story each of us has
about the two of us together.
The second is the love story we each
have with the inner Beloved, that
constant (yet not always constantly
tended) inner drive that compels us
to pursue what fascinates and
allures us and that fulfills us,
even as we bring meaning and
dimension to it.
The third is the love story our
partner pursues with his or her own
inner Beloved and that always
mystifies us somewhat, no matter how
supportive and understanding we try
to be.
Join my husband Andy Gardner and me
on February 8-10 in Litchfield,
Connecticut to explore and deepen
your own love stories with your
human lover, your inner Beloved, and
your partner's Beloved. We're
excited to present our second annual
retreat,
LOVER AND BELOVED, at a
beautiful, historic country home.
$1,125 per couple including lodging
and six gourmet meals. |
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Contact Information
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phone: 570/727-4272
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